Gorgeous greetings from the not-so-wild midwest! There is a sweet wind blowing across the carpets of brilliant green grass, and my heart cannot help but be lifted, even while broken. This is the Mama’s gift – to be beautiful and generous despite the wreck of civilization. She may not forgive in the end, but she will always break forth in beauty.
On this exquisite day, when the sheer act of being an embodied creature on our beloved mossy stone is a joy, I have been thinking about a subject I’ve seen bandied about on a few other blogs lately. The issue of the Pagan body.
It may come to the attention of a few folks attending most Pagan gatherings that, much like the rest of the world, our people possess a wide range of body types. What those folks may also note is that there are many among us who are fat.* There do seem to be quite a few people of size among us Pagani, it’s true. I’m one of them. There are a number of reasons why I could speculate there are so many of us fat folk in Pagan circles (granted, as no hard and fast research has been done in this area to my knowledge, this is pure speculation on my part based on my own experiences and, indeed, a few of my own reasons for being attraced to Paganism as a youngster). For one, Paganism tends to attract social outcasts of a variety of stripes (if you doubt that being fat places you squarely at the social margins of American society, despite the hysterical media stories about how enormously fat everyone in America is supposed to be, then you obviously have never been a fat person, and it may be possible that you have not been paying the least amount of attention anywhere anytime). Thus, people looking for a place to belong, where they feel beautiful, sexy, and validated as sensual human beings, might look for a spiritual community that gives them that feeling (and rightly so). Contemporary Paganism (or at least many of the dominant popular Paganisms of the moment, such as eclectic and feminist Wicca, etc.) tends to embrace a body-positive and body-validating thea/ology, and the feminist Paganisms especially tend to validate the diversity of female body types as divine and beautiful at any size. Goddesses (or faces of The Goddess, depending on your theistic flava) are diverse – there be some heavy gorgeous mamas among them, and in the late 80s and early 90s it was not uncommon to see that mysterious bebe the Venus of Willendorf adorning the bellies of women determined to own and love their glorious round dancing instead of spending their precious earth-time cursing their thighs (time that could better be spent making art, flirting with trees, doing the tango, or working to eliminate sexism & fat hatred and plotting to take over the world…hmmmmmm).
The point is, while the reasons that we (and I) may have for choosing/being chosen by this particular spirituality may not be exclusively founded on whether or not we feel accepted as fat people, it can most definitely be a factor. Conversions are complicated. Revelation is multifaceted. Joy has many levels. When I found my heart among the Pagani, it surely was a bonus that I also found a group of people who professed to believe that my body has value no matter what size.
But then, somebody is a-bound to mention, there is the matter of health.
At Pantheacon this year, a prominent Pagan speaker (I don’t remember who – I wasn’t personally there and am recreating what I’ve read on other folks’ blogs) brought up this issue, and to my understanding called for Pagans to take a more health-conscious approach to their physical selves, as Paganism is an embodied spirituality. Whether the speaker was speaking exclusively about fat Pagans or not, the way our culture reads health seems to automatically lean towards lean, and thus, her words can and have been interpreted to mean that Pagans, in the pursuit of healthy embodied spiritual lives, may need to shed some poundage. Because after all, as we all know, weight loss and health are righteously fused together at the thunder-hips.
I have been neglecting to respond to this barest whisper of what I see as a new trend/theme in contemporary Paganism as I have some mixed feelings about it…not to mention I’ve been a tad mired in a bit o’ the funk lately regarding the epic kill-cycle of our craptacular civilization and its no-hold-barred ecocidal attack on my beloved Mama (you may have noticed). Yet, it has been nibbling here at my fatty insides, and once the sharpsy teeth of my tiny brain get ahold of a thing, they’re not usually satisfied unless I’ve worried it to a raggedy state and tried to wedge my foot firmly in my mouth a few times.
So first off – yes, I agree that as the firefly-shod, star-footed, heart-bound singers of this particular earth-happy, sensuous and sensual, body-caressin’, flesh-lovin’ set of religious traditions, it behooves us to embrace an approach to our bodies that relishes their fully realized, healthiest and most glorious, shiny states. My body is of the Mama, and She is of me (and not of me, more of me, more than me. Of you – and not of you, more of you, more than you. It’s the best Mystery there is), so of course, as I love her, it would make sense to also love me. I am also in the opinion that what’s good for the Mama is probably good for me, so I happen to be big (har!) on ecologically sustainable whole foods nutrition. I’m for real food, traditional food, fermented food, local food, organic food, chemical-free food, balanced food, etc. I’ve tried vegetarian, vegan, macrobiotic, and traditional foods. I think processed foods are crap. I hate corn syrup (plague syrup of evil) and hydrogenated oils. Thus, I would fully support a push towards a whole foods approach to Pagan festival meals, potlucks, etc. (I’ve seen a lot of crappy mccrapperfood at Pagan festivals). Discussions about nutrition and food and their relationship to spirituality are good coven meeting topics. I got no beef here (har!). Of course, health, it should be noted, does not exist in a vacuum, and for many folks, there are some enormous systemic issues stading in the way between an individual and that individual’s holistic healthy being.
What does start to chafe me is the overemphasis on weight loss, already the ubiquitous (and incorrect, unfair, biased and wrong) physical litmus test for social and medical approval, and the idea that we, as Pagans, ought to start making weight loss some kind of spiritual litmus test. Do I think anyone has really said this? No – but I can see it going there, and you’ll have to pardon me if I get a little nervous about it, having seen it happen in a million other avenues of our contemporary culture.
NOW – far be it for me to attempt to argue that fat people can be healthy (which I would if I were more savvy on the stats). That’s an enormous debate, and one that I simply do not have the stomach (har!) for at this time. Let us simply ponder the possibility that medical science, wed in this case to the diet industry (a multi-billion dollar enterprise), might have agendas, and that if you look at all the studies n’ stuff (all of it), you’ll eventually find that it all contradicts itself all the freakin’ time (eggs good! eggs bad! eat meat! meat will kill you! fat always evil and bad! fat sometimes okay! cholesterol big fucking problem! cholesterol not really a big fucking problem!), and maybe, just maybe, folks can be thin and unhealthy (fo sho’), and maybe, just maaaaybe, folks can then also be fat and healthy (not to mention what defines being “fat” or “obese” in the first place is a little hazy). Yes, I know – I be craaaaaazy. But don’t hurt yourself rushing to tell me I’m just a big deluded fatty with an axe to grind cuz I can’t lose my waddle. I’ve heard it all. All fat people have heard it all. I do think that our contemporary American lifestyle breeds poor health. You bet. What I’m saying is that whether or not a person is fat is simply not an indicator of their state of health. And the truth is that after all the hype and the freakin’ out and the diets and the studies and whatnot, what we fat folks are left with is the same stuff that most Americans and other “first worlders” are left with – no real hard fast answers, no silver bullets, and the same choices that anyone living on planet earth needs to make to be a “healthy” person (eat real food in reasonable amounts, move your ass, drink water, avoid toxic shit [it bears noting that none of these items, given our civilization, are easy to do]) – the ones that lotsa skinny folks don’t do either. And the plain fact is that making these decisions in this society as it stands is hard. For everybody – because as it turns out, real health is radical stuff. And being radical in any form under our current worldview means fighting an uphill battle pushing a rock so big that even Sisyphus would faint dead away to see it. I know all this stuff – know it all. Yet, I be fat. But, again, I’m not going to convince you here. If you think my ass is making me die faster, that’s fine.
But here’s the thang – as I said previously, we fat folks have heard it all. And historically, the wagging finger, watch-yer-waist, individual shame train doesn’t work. If you want to promote health, good nutrition, exercise, etc. amongst the Pagani, then start having conversations about guidelines for potluck dishes and festival dinners, the possibility of more organics, organizing for better agricultural practices, organizing against big food companies, fight against corn syrup, work towards making organics affordable for all, lead workshops on whole foods nutrition (not eating for weight loss, just eating for health), fighting for the rights of holistic health practicitoners to practice in their state, organizing hikes and walks during festivals, outdoor games, etc. But please don’t start to tell me that because I’m fat I must not be close enough to the Mama, or that I’m not taking my embodied spirituality seriously enough. Health, in a radical holism, includes spirituality, as well as planetary health, community, psychology, etc., but it will not be achieved by employing a thea/ology of guilt or facile weight-loss cheerleading. Please don’t make my precious time with my chosen community a feast of blame.
I’m fat. If you want a history of my relationship with my fat, I could give it to you. But it has taken me a really really long time to realize that my body, how it is in this moment or the next, has value. I sincerely hope that we can approach the issue of health and embodied spirituality as a people without also participating in shaming fat bodies (ETA: or shaming any bodies for that matter – fat, thin, round, tall, differently abled, etc. Bodies be what they are. Sacred.)
So have some (organic and local if you can get ‘em!) strawberries – they’re in season. They taste like bare feet in dew wet grass on a May morning, perfection, the love of the Mama embodied in gorgeous red delicious joy. Nothing the crafty chemical taste people can come up with can ever ever come close. Like everything else the Mama gives you to nourish your body, strawberries also happen to be kick-ass healthy for ya. Strawberries are kisses from the Good Earth.
*About “fat”: I’ve been fat my whole life. Thus, I am more than familiar with the wide (har!) range of terminology for my body type, from the “I’m avoiding the term fat” terms like “large,” “plus-sized,” “rubenesque” and “big-boned” to all the cruel offerings from the inescapably creative masses, such as “lardass,” “blubberbutt,” or the multitude of bovine and porcine references. Of course, all terms for those of us who possess more girth than is socially acceptable are loaded. Yet, in the interest of reclaiming a term that was originally purely biologically descriptive (everybody has fat and eats fat [and should eat fat..it's a basic thing, peeps - you gots to eat fat to live] – some of us have more than others), I like the word FAT. I’m FAT. When I use this term, I often receive kind-hearted horrified looks and frantic comments by well-meaning acquaintances (Oh no! You’re not fat!!!). But I am fat. The difference here is that when I say “I am fat,” I am NOT also saying “I am an ugly, lazy, unhealthy, pathetic piece of shit,” which is what the term “fat” has come to encompass. Which is bullshit. I be fat. That’s all. I am also tall. And have brown hair. (Oh no! You don’t have brown hair! Your hair is just….earth-toned.) Savvy?
heather said,
May 21, 2007 at 11:12 pm
I think it only makes sense to emphasize a whole food, sustainable diet as part of our commitment to the health of the Earth. It is a win-win. We help her and the diet will also help us live healthier. I’m fat too but I just made a personal commitment to eating less processed food and I’m starting to lose weight. For the average American my previous diet was pretty healthy but I feel better since focusing on whole foods.
Inanna said,
May 22, 2007 at 1:11 am
I think that, as Wiccans, our central values need to be the sacredness of the body, respect, self-love, and healing the planet. How these values are expressed may differ from person to person; for example, no one way of eating is best for everyone.
But these core values have nothing to do with the size of our bodies, or our physical abilities. We are so quick to say something is “unhealthy,” but very often that’s just an expression of bigotry. It’s not necessarily unhealthy to be fat. And being thin isn’t always a sign of health. Diversity is another of Mama Nature’s values – diversity is health – and we can revel in the diversity of our bodies.
I aspire to make choices from a place of compassion and love, not a place of fear, rigidity, or self-loathing. For me, when it comes to eating, I have a really hard time feeling compassion and love for myself. But I still know that it’s what I want, and that I won’t let anyone push on me a diet or food philosophy grounded in fear.
I would welcome festival workshops on caring for the body in ways aligned with Pagan values.
gospelpagan said,
May 22, 2007 at 2:35 am
Inanna,
Sister, yes – excellent points. No way of eating is best for everyone – yes. Not making choices out of fear or self-loathing – yes. Diversity is health – yes yes yes!
-S
Sylvan said,
May 22, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Amen, sista.
About a year ago I was wandering around on a Large Pagan Forum and found a thread where several women were talking about how being fat was basically heresy, because *obviously* if you’re fat that means you’re not taking care of yourself, and thou art Goddess, and so forth. I resisted the urge to crawl through the Internet and choke myself a Witch, because they were basically spouting the same fat-phobic crap that every nonPagan spouts–we’ve all been fed the same line of “all you have to do to be healthy/be happy/land a man/get the life of your dreams is look like THIS.”
I also find it amusing that I read a blog post somewhere about PantheaCon that mentioned the talk you heard and how on-target it was, then in the same entry talked about how wonderful it was to wake up smelling bacon down the hallway, followed by some typical anti-vegetarian statement about “I didn’t claw my way to the top of the food chain blah blah blah.” There’ve been several rants online, including one on Witchvox not too long ago, saying that eating dead animals is our gods-given right as Pagans and using the whole “hunter/gatherer societies are COOL!” mentality that could just as easily be used to justify the subjugation of women.
There is such a disconnect between what we eat, where it comes from, the consequences of our choices, and our health–you would think that coming at religion from a more holistic perspective more Pagans would have seen these links and work to bring the disconnect back into balance, but just as with most Americans, the party line seems to be “I don’t want to know where my food comes from, just gimme some more bacon and a defibrilator for dessert.”
Of course, what do I know? I’m just a bitter fat girl chock full o’ self-righteous vegan rage. *laugh*
Inanna said,
May 22, 2007 at 4:51 pm
Despite all the books being published on Wicca and Paganism, we lack a well-developed serious literature. (That’s not to say that there aren’t good, serious books out there, just that I want more! more! more!) My point is that there is a lot more to be written about Wiccan values and practical ethics, and we Wiccans should be able to offer an important perspective on issues of body, food, and earth. We should be able to see the links, as Dianne says, but those connections need to be drawn explicitly and in print! I don’t know of any other book, besides Dianne’s, specifically about Wicca and the body. (And I confess I haven’t read The Body Sacred yet, although I am reading The Circle Within for the fourth time, if that counts for anything. Damn, girl, you have a mind!)
Sara, I hope you’re thinking about writing a book.
Jonah said,
May 22, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Speaking of organic food, please read this…
http://yezida.livejournal.com/124022.html
…and tell the government that food with non-organic ingredients is NOT organic food.
Sopka said,
May 22, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Thank you I would not have grown up so well or so free had I not been obese or fragile and thin in my 20’s..Health is a personal issue.One cannot judge people by their looks as many new generation of drugs for many diseases have weight gain and obesity as a side effect. Some one who is obese may be in a healthier state physically than a thin person who is not being treated by these new medicines…
Annie C said,
May 22, 2007 at 8:30 pm
I am so headed out the door right now to wrap my big thighs around the tree I’ve been considering flirting with…XOXO my sister mama.
Zorya said,
May 23, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Your essay reminded me of a recent book by Gina Kolata, “Rethinking Thin.” Kolata contends that recent research suggests that body size is determined primarily by genetics. The goal should be healthy living as opposed to the popular goal of lean, thin bodies. Here is the url to a review of the book: http://tinyurl.com/2lbrcp
It is interesting to note that up until the early 20th century, the ideal woman was much heavier than our current model. Having a large body meant that the family was wealthy enough to eat at more than a subsistance level.
Anti-thesisofreason said,
May 29, 2007 at 7:53 pm
My wife is overweight, she is also, according to her doctor, very healthy. Her cholesterol is normal, her blood pressure is normal and she feels good. But yet, her doctor is still encouraging her to loose weight. Granted her family has a history of diabetes and she needs to be careful. But hey if she feels good and is healthy whats the difference?
On the other hand I am normal weight and have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I get these lovely things from my family, there isn’t much I can do but attempt to control them through diet and excercise, plus those little wonder pills which I would rather not take.
Go figure.
Raven Waldenpond said,
June 2, 2007 at 4:13 pm
I have read the original post and must say you are quite a writer! I was thoroughly entranced by your style. I also live in the midwest, am always struggling with 25lb extra, and can understand where you are coming from. I also thought about why the paganism seems to attract a higher percentage of well, fat, women. No mincing of words there. I do feel that all of us, pagan or not, should strive to be healthier and eat more purely. All of us have limitations and challenges, attachments. Some of those attachments, or addictions, if you will, are more visible in the flesh. Others are not. I don’t even like the word addiction because it is so, well, mainstream, “disorder” oriented. Balance and growth are operatives here. I try to keep balanced about not being to hard on myself and my challenges with food, and the striving to grow bette as a person and pagan. But more and more as I get more goddess and earth oriented, I just will not eat the junk that big food corporations pass as food. So…. I am eating more organic. But, yep even organic chocolate and whole wheat bread can put on the pounds. None of us are perfect, only loved by the Great Mother
Raven Waldenpond
http://renegade-celtic-hedgewitch.blogspot.com/
Medusa said,
June 22, 2007 at 9:24 pm
You’all are so right! Fat=unhealthy ain’t necessarily so; and thin=healthy for sure ain’t necessarily so.
About “bad” foods changing to “good”–several years ago when I worked for a health organization, and a “bad” food had just become “good” or v.v. (either margarine had become bad or eggs had become good, or maybe both) I half-jokingly said, “Someday, you just wait and see, chocolate is going to be recommended as something that’s good for you to eat.” They laughed at me (not a new experience). A few years later (after I had left that place of employment) guess what! Chocolate is an antidepressant! And dark chocolate is (I think I got this right–not bothering to look it up) encourages good cholesterol. And then there’s wine!!! And Sara, that beer you’ve started brewing–a few days ago I saw something on tv about the hops in it have good healthful effects!!!
Pass the chocolate and pour me a beer!
Ruth Ellen said,
August 16, 2007 at 1:07 am
We over-abundant Pagans can and do face discrimination. I suppose the two are double whammies to more judgmental folks. Thank heavens the Powers That Be aren’t overly concerned about our waistlines.
heath said,
May 17, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Well, the overweight thing seems to go hand in hand with the whole Rennfair RPG nerd geek thing which, I am sorry, takes away from the credibility of Paganism/Wicca, and not just to “mainstream” people. I have basically left the pagan (yes, with a small “p”, the word has taken on a secular meaning, for people who would have been hippies in the 60’s or alternative in the 90’s) community at large because all I saw at festivals was drinking, bad English accents, unwashed people, (usually in need of dental work complaining about being poor, but somehow they found the money for all those tatoos…), and bragging about their collection of Klingon weapons or what fantasy xbox game was best. The pagan community for the most part has degenerated into a bunch of fantasy obsessed people who don’t want the responsibility of living in this world. Or, they are basically geeks who can’t/never did get attention so they flaunt their pentacles and then (in their own deluded heads) interpret those “looks” they get from others as astonishemnt or fear of their great magical powers. Sorry, they are just thinking you are stupid.
Sound mean? Too harsh? Sorry, but my faith is the center of my life, and yes, who am I to question anyone else’s faith? Who am I to question why the Goddess calls anyone to Her service? Maybe She likes nerds and geeks… BUT, I do know something is amiss or I wouldn’t feel so disappointed and disgusted with the “community” .
gospelpagan said,
May 18, 2008 at 2:37 am
Heath,
Indeed, you sure do sound mean. And with such little call for it, too. I’m unsure why you felt it necessary to write with such vitriol in response to this particular post, but I’m happy to respond.
Yes, I agree that the pagan/Pagan community has its fair share of silliness, ridiculousness, weirdos, etc, and, I can even see some validity (if I try to ignore your overwhelmingly disgusted tone) to your criticisms on some levels. However, I have a couple of thoughts in response:
a. It is true that you will find a number of geeks, sci-fi fans, fantasy gamers, etc. among the ranks of the Pagani. There are a handful of reasons for that – I imagine that those whose imaginations are illuminated and made joyful by the notion of magic in the world would be attracted to both magic as it functions in fantasy and magic as it functions in reality (being two different things, certainly). In addition, Paganism, like geekdom, is a realm where those on the margins of society feel welcome. It is a legitimate criticism that there are those among us who do not know the difference between fantasy and reality, and that for some Paganism is nothing more than some kind of woogy extension of a roleplaying game. However, there are also many, many others who take their religion quite seriously, and who, like me, may also be card-carrying geeks. Fat geeks. Who attend renaissance faires on rare occasions. And, of course, as one of those, I am going to obviously say right away that I don’t particularly see a whole lot wrong with being a geek, as you seem to. AND, certainly there is no requirement that you do or be any of these things to be a devoted follower of your faith, and no requirement that you even carry on with any of those that do (and, if you’d care to look, there are non-geeks among the Pagani), so I can only imagine that you are pretty concerned about being perceived as being in league with those you consider losers, which only reveals that you seem to care a great deal about what other people think of you. Otherwise, why on earth would you care so passionately about how others perceive Paganism, especially if you have taken your leave of it? But those things, friend, sound like your problems.
b. In addition, your lumping fat people along with all others you perceive as “taking credibility away” from Paganism would indicate to me that the point of my original post, that discrimination against fat people in the context of the Pagan community is misguided at best and shitty, mean, bigoted, and antithetical to Pagan ethics and theology at worst, was lost on you entirely. I am sorry that you are so disgusted with fat people and geeks, who, like yourself I imagine, merely wish to exist in relative harmony with the world and not be shat on, in general and especially within their communities of choice.
c. My faith, too, is the center of my life – and it doesn’t take much effort to find many, many Pagans who would say (and live) the same. And I sincerely am thrilled that your faith is so important to you, as I believe that is a powerful and precious thing. But I can see that you and I differ in terms of approach.
d. As I stated previously, you are correct that something is amiss in the Pagan community. We have many issues and problems, as does any spiritual community. I too often find myself so frustrated that I think I would rather stick a fork in my eye than deal with my community. I choose to remain however, because whether I love them all the time or not (and the answer is: not), I am of them, and they are my people.
Thank you for your thoughts.
-S
heath said,
May 19, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I posted because I am looking for answers to these issues I have. Yes, I HAVE, I made the choice to disassociate wiht the community because of MY problem with its members. Maybe I am still a little angry and more than a little disappointed in what I found. Maybe we are all nerds, I am certainly far from perfect. I never called anyone a loser, I just question motivations, especially of the ones barking loudest. I also don’t think I am a better Witch than anyone becaues I am thin or for any other reason, I just don’t get these people. You give me food for thought, maybe I am just afraid of being a geek. I hope I do meet some serious people rather than the kind of people I have met so far. I spent years looking, but never found any. Thank you for your response. Thanks for letting me vent, I really am not a mean person, just very disappointed in my “brethren”. but, I’ll keep looking, or just keep to myself. Ciao.
gospelpagan said,
May 19, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Hello Heath,
I’m glad you responded. Certainly I understand that disappointment. As I mentioned previously, there *are* folks in the Pagan community who seem uninterested in more than the perceived spooky-coolness of witchcraft or Paganism, and you are not wrong to ask questions and/or challenge those actions you perceive as antithetical to authentic spirituality, or to seek a community that validates and celebrates a serious, deeply felt and authentic faith.
Mostly, I objected to your tone in your original comment, which was, from my perspective, quite judgmental towards a certain group of people. So again, I do think it’s very important to point out that I believe that being a geek, nerd, fat person, what have you, is a perfectly valid thing. And that while I think you are correct that it can feel like sometimes certain Pagan gatherings resemble more a fantasy/sci fi convention than a religious gathering, and that sometimes this can legitimately interfere with the intentions of those seeking to engage in the practice of Paganism as a religion removed from that cultural element, I think it’s also important to remember that there is a middle way. Geekdom is not synonymous with Paganism, but there are many geeks among the Pagani. And, of course, it is possible to be both a geek and a Pagan who takes her/his religion very seriously.
I too have spent years looking for those among my people who felt like family, who shared my same passion for this religion and its practice. I am lucky to have found a small group that fits this bill, but I looked for a very long time, and I have been a Pagan now for almost 20 years. It can be totally and utterly frustrating, yes. So believe me, I do understand your frustration and your disappointment. I also encourage you to keep looking – there are many people out there who take their faith very seriously, and I’m confident that you would be able to find a community that speaks to you in time. Just remember also that those you find frustrating are a part of the wider community as well, and as such, deserve just as much respect as anyone else.
I wish you all the best on your spiritual journey and on your search for a community that supports, challenges, and encourages you! The Paganverse is huge and wildly diverse. If you would like to continue this conversation, you are welcome to email me also at sara@gospelpagan.net.
Thanks,
S
heath said,
May 19, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Well, I was really unhappy when I posted that first item, I admit it. Maybe your wise repsonses are a sign that I just need to let go and keep looking. LOL
gospelpagan said,
May 19, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Heath,
-S
nicole said,
June 6, 2009 at 10:45 am
Couple of random personal thoughts on overweight pagans…
If we pagans are so ‘accepting’ of fatness, then why do virtually all the images of pagan women show half-naked supermodel types lounging on the moon or amongst animal friends in the forest?
Having been a pagan for 20 years – I am a solo practitioner – largely because I like to go to places deep in nature requires stamina and strength.
Pagans talk and sing about nature, but apparently most don’t really experience it first hand.